George Costanza’s Words of Wisdom

While cleaning out my brief case the other day I got distracted (see earlier post). I was preparing to give a talk to a local Probus group and was looking for some of my speech notes. Among the usual dross, broken ballpoints,twisted paper clips, empty envelopes and some garlic tablets in a Glad bag I found a little gem.

George Costanza’s Words of Wisdom – Now I know it’s been around before but this classic deserves some clear air. So here goes.

“The most unfair thing about life is the way it ends. I mean, life is tough. It takes up a lot of your time. What do you get at the end of it? A death. What’s that, a bonus?!?!

I think the life cycle is all backwards. You should die first, get it out of the way. Then you go live in an old age home.

You get kicked out for being too healthy, go collect your pension, then, when you start work, you get a gold watch on your first day.

You work forty years until you’re young enough to enjoy your retirement. You drink alcohol, you party, and you get ready for high school.

You go to primary school, you become a kid, you play, you have no responsibilities.

You become a little baby, you go back, spend your last 9 months floating with luxuries like central heating, spa, room service on tap, then you finish off as an orgasm! Amen.” – George Costanza

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